Dear intolerant cafe user

Dear intolerant cafe user,

Yes, you. I know who you are. You’re that person rolling their eyes at the mere sight of children in your precious cafe, the one tossing disapproving looks towards me, the one who quickly turns to social media and those free street papers to express your opinion that children are an unwelcome nuisance in your day. I get it, I do. But please stop tweeting for a sec, and allow me to explain a few things you may not realize.

1. Kids are like this.. all day long

There you were, enjoying a much needed break from your desk job, when in I walk with my two brats and proceed to poison the atmosphere with awful children related noise. The squealing! The banging! The whining! Don’t I know kids should stay at home?? Well guess what? They are like this all day. While you were briefly exposed to it, this is my daily existence. Take pity on me. Show a fellow human some empathy. Let me enjoy a cuppa free from judgement. And yes I know this is my choice. But hey, only the first one was, the second was a total surprise. So seriously, cut me some slack dude.

2. You do this 2 times a day, I haven’t been out in months.

Okay my small children ruined your coffee break, but no doubt you’ll be having another one later on. After all, you’re a cosmopolitan person. For me though, your intolerant attitude ruined my first trip to a cafe in months. See you know how all that annoying kid noise irritated you? Well the mental gymnastics required to keep a 1 and 2 year old sitting down, not spilling the sugar, not breaking cups, not screaming, not throwing food and remaining somewhat within my control is taxing. It’s made worse but the pointed looks thrown my way by all the people letting me know the mere presence of small people in the cafe is offensive. It’s taken me two months to get the will to treat myself to this trip. I won’t be repeating it for at least three more.

3. It cost me a lot more than you, so deal with it.

YOU are an important customer. Yes siree you are. Your coffee must have cost nearly $4 too. That $4 should come with a guarantee no kids will turn up to ruin your day, right? Except for one thing.. my trip cost me 5 times that. See I had to buy a tea, a weak poorly made and over priced tea. Then there was a baby chino. Then a loud shriek informed me the other child needed a baby chino. There was also two ‘please be quiet’ biscuits, plus a bottle of water to replace the one my kid spilled. So really, I’m the important customer here.


4. It’s called skill building

As much as you’d like to believe that kids should be banned from all public spaces, the truth is its important we get them out to places people socialize. Why, you ask? Because we need to teach them how to act within a society. They need to learn what’s acceptable, how to treat people and how to interact. If we don’t, they might end up being an intolerant asshole like you, and truly we don’t need more of you.

A mother who thinks you’re a dick.


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Filed under Life as a Parent

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